dear diary...

Candid Haiku

So I found this girl

Whom I adore very much

My head is spinning

 

 

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dear diary...

1/8

The semester has come to a close. Oh how fast time flies when you’re having fun, when you’re so immersed in all the activities, when you’re struggling to stay abreast of everything, when you look forward to orientation, the first day of college, recess week, the completion of your first, second and third bout of essays…

This semester has been nothing short of amazing. I experienced so many firsts. From singing in a chamber choir for the very first time, agreeing to be an accompanist for my pal’s Yangqin performance (despite my utter lack of performance experience), hanging out at a bar in Kuching, staying with non-Singaporeans, experiencing the newfound liberty of staying away from home, away from the clutches and surveillance of my (loving) parents…

I think I’ve grown tremendously as an individual throughout just these few months and it surprises me how much I have taken in and how much I’ve…grown. It was so stark a contrast against the few months prior to college, when I basically wasted my days away…in limbo…waiting passively…for something to happen…

If there’s one thing that I took away from these hectic and crazy few months, it is to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Experiences don’t just come hurtling towards you; growth doesn’t occur unless you consciously step beyond that cozy little metaphorical cell of yours; and people will always be unfamiliar strangers to you unless you break the ice in between with a conversation, no matter how shy that “Hi, I’m Ning” may end up sounding.

 

 

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Just quotes

Memories are dangerous things. You turn them over and over, until you know every touch and corner, but still you’ll find an edge to cut you.
Mark Lawrence 

Tianjin, 2014

Far Food Nation, 2016

Southern Ridges, 2016

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dear diary...

a warning to myself

whenever i really like someone

it doesn’t turn out well

possessiveness

passive-aggressiveness

ghosting

repulsion

jealousy

yearning

it’s a cycle, a vicious cycle

to crash so unbelievably hard

to fall too deeply and madly in love with

perhaps the idea of a person

only to realise what i was so emotionally invested in

was really just a figment of reality

something so distant and detached

from the person in front of me

then again, i don’t think i am 

enlightened enough to 

be able to discriminate

between loving the idea of someone

and loving someone for the person they are

so

this is a warning to my pitiful self

to control, against all futility,

that tidal wave of emotions 

and brace for a heartache

to quell any expectations i may have of this newfound friend

to be selective and stringent about the words and thoughts i entrust her with

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