dear diary...



currently, i am sitting in front of my desk, cuppa coffee on my right and a dying hamster on my left.

I observe…

every ounce of energy and every sinew of muscle is orchestrated to heave his lungs and chest, to draw in that little bit of oxygen

which doesn’t quite reach him, being obstructed by mucus


click…click…click…obstructed breaths inhaled in an unsteady rhythm

deep sighs, gasping for oxygen…in futility

cold limbs barely supporting your feather-like body

swollen, limpid eyes staring at nothingness, as if resigned to fate and Time

flopping ears gradually turning from red to crimson due to the life draining from your veins

sagging jaw desperately inhaling gulping and swallowing

the only comfort i have now is your occasional movements. though helpless and clumsy, they’re the only signs of your being alive. the only source of solace is the sound of your heavy, obstructed breaths, the sound of your suffering.

春, you are spring.

you are life, vitality and 元気.

春, ガンバて!


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